Love Lion~*KissAFlowerOnceAnHourPaw
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
And when I am weary...
I seek out the comfort of my gardens that wrap around my home and nestle my own little kingdom with comforts and delight! I love to get my hands and feet covered in dirt. It makes me feel like I have actually accomplished something. I love the peace my gardens give to both growling tummies and hungry soul eyes! My sanctuary of solitude and contentment. I dare say more has been planted in me out there than in the ground... I just take longer to blossom!
Love Lion~*KissAFlowerOnceAnHourPaw
Love Lion~*KissAFlowerOnceAnHourPaw
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Stained
Stained glass brings in a glorious array of colors dancing within a room!
Stained hands show hard work and determination... accomplishment!
Stained clothes testify to a hilarious day of fun and run!
Stained lips taste of berry juices delighting the buds!
Stained coffee cups rest in a sink and warmth resides in the belly!
Stained cheeks mark the path of worry, pain, confusion, plain overraught!
Stained soul etches scars edges, dark imprints, raw cells, bacterial grief!
I feel very stained.
My inner rooms are covered in stained glass images... outside the glory just cannot be comprehended! Stained windows can only be appreciated from within in the day... and from out in the night.
Outside in the day one might comment, " Oh look at that - how lovely"... but inside as the Sun shines through is where the struck of awe at what is seen... is seen! Outside at night... nothing is known if no light is lit or if only one stubby candle glows deep within.
Yesterday my soul friend Maggie said that I have developed a complicated inner world. I had to store this away for some thought. I have only really ever had my very own self to hear me... so I suppose that I do have a complicated world within. Perhaps this is why I have never felt anyone at all understands me. Until I first began to allow my inner world to be heard... and with imagery... visualized.
I have some rooms no one has seen... not even me... I *feel* the ominous that is there... but do not step down that hall not knowing who awaits for me there.
I have rooms I long to have friends come visit with me. I want to share everything that fills those cavities. The wonderments, overwhelming, astounding, awe inspired creativity that blends so significantly together.
And I have rooms that are just simply stained. Splashed all over the walls going from room to room is ANGER and loneliness. I am the only one welcome to enter there. Trying to repaint is futile... the stains just seep back through. I think they need to be there... and some days... so do I.
I truly hate the probing question, " HOW are YOU?" Suddenly with the speed of wind all those rooms echo down into the hall of my heart... and I am searching for some safe ambiguous non-reply to satisfy the individual with the audacity to ask me this.
I am supposed to be the strong one, the helper, the keeper, the encourager... the one who never wears out. The one who has worked through her life and has come out on top.... I thought I was nearing the top one day... and I got pushed... and I fell skidding all the way to the very bottom... injured, broken, marred, winded of breath... alone as a clock kept ticking.
So I pulled myself back up and on twists and breaks, with portions of my heart bitten out as if by a wild animal... I walk room to room alone and look at the stain created pictures and artifacts
there. I laugh and smile, I cringe and cover my mouth, I scream and beat my fists and I share the best that is left of me.
One day when I am prepared... I am going to stand out in the night in my raw nakedness of soul... with all the lights on in my rooms...every room!!! and I am going to SHINE my own Stained Glass and I believe it will be astonishing!
Love Lion~*Stained,Drained,GainedPaw
Stained hands show hard work and determination... accomplishment!
Stained clothes testify to a hilarious day of fun and run!
Stained lips taste of berry juices delighting the buds!
Stained coffee cups rest in a sink and warmth resides in the belly!
Stained cheeks mark the path of worry, pain, confusion, plain overraught!
Stained soul etches scars edges, dark imprints, raw cells, bacterial grief!
I feel very stained.
My inner rooms are covered in stained glass images... outside the glory just cannot be comprehended! Stained windows can only be appreciated from within in the day... and from out in the night.
Outside in the day one might comment, " Oh look at that - how lovely"... but inside as the Sun shines through is where the struck of awe at what is seen... is seen! Outside at night... nothing is known if no light is lit or if only one stubby candle glows deep within.
Yesterday my soul friend Maggie said that I have developed a complicated inner world. I had to store this away for some thought. I have only really ever had my very own self to hear me... so I suppose that I do have a complicated world within. Perhaps this is why I have never felt anyone at all understands me. Until I first began to allow my inner world to be heard... and with imagery... visualized.
I have some rooms no one has seen... not even me... I *feel* the ominous that is there... but do not step down that hall not knowing who awaits for me there.
I have rooms I long to have friends come visit with me. I want to share everything that fills those cavities. The wonderments, overwhelming, astounding, awe inspired creativity that blends so significantly together.
And I have rooms that are just simply stained. Splashed all over the walls going from room to room is ANGER and loneliness. I am the only one welcome to enter there. Trying to repaint is futile... the stains just seep back through. I think they need to be there... and some days... so do I.
I truly hate the probing question, " HOW are YOU?" Suddenly with the speed of wind all those rooms echo down into the hall of my heart... and I am searching for some safe ambiguous non-reply to satisfy the individual with the audacity to ask me this.
I am supposed to be the strong one, the helper, the keeper, the encourager... the one who never wears out. The one who has worked through her life and has come out on top.... I thought I was nearing the top one day... and I got pushed... and I fell skidding all the way to the very bottom... injured, broken, marred, winded of breath... alone as a clock kept ticking.
So I pulled myself back up and on twists and breaks, with portions of my heart bitten out as if by a wild animal... I walk room to room alone and look at the stain created pictures and artifacts
there. I laugh and smile, I cringe and cover my mouth, I scream and beat my fists and I share the best that is left of me.
One day when I am prepared... I am going to stand out in the night in my raw nakedness of soul... with all the lights on in my rooms...every room!!! and I am going to SHINE my own Stained Glass and I believe it will be astonishing!
Love Lion~*Stained,Drained,GainedPaw
Friday, June 09, 2006
Unconfined
Unconfined. This word spoke to me the other day. I suppose it really wants me to journey to the core of its descriptive meaning... and to procure some vast treasure for my soul's released blissfulness.
The last thing I feel right now is bliss.
I feel rather like a walled fortress that has been pummeled with mortar attack and the main tower is now listing and crumbling... with a momentum that is sure to bring every brick crashing to a heap of rubble... I suppose however, that in that downfall... the fortress herself will finally be.... unconfined.
But how do I let my walls of defense and defiance crumple to powder... like talc? To create a smooth , softening that heals a deeply chafed vulnerability...
I want to shout... * I AM DONE!!!* And yet sadly... I am so aware that I have not even begun this melting down of the purifying ritual my life demands and demands with awakening intensity.
Unconfined.... redefined... intertwined...so sublime... can this be mine?
Lion~*ConfinedDesignedPainInTheHindPaw
The last thing I feel right now is bliss.
I feel rather like a walled fortress that has been pummeled with mortar attack and the main tower is now listing and crumbling... with a momentum that is sure to bring every brick crashing to a heap of rubble... I suppose however, that in that downfall... the fortress herself will finally be.... unconfined.
But how do I let my walls of defense and defiance crumple to powder... like talc? To create a smooth , softening that heals a deeply chafed vulnerability...
I want to shout... * I AM DONE!!!* And yet sadly... I am so aware that I have not even begun this melting down of the purifying ritual my life demands and demands with awakening intensity.
Unconfined.... redefined... intertwined...so sublime... can this be mine?
Lion~*ConfinedDesignedPainInTheHindPaw
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