One day, two day, dusty new day.
I've had just a very few say to me, "Happy New Year!!!" I have felt a mix of what to say in return. The old year had very little happy and though I hope this new one will be different... I am extremely cautiously optimistic!
I did have some great things happen personally. The deepening understanding I have of myself from this past year... this is a great thing! I feel more resiliant... even though I had many crushing days. Much to my dismay and calm assurance... my heart that has been shattered on many occassion... it continues to beat strongly!!! What a surprise this has been for me! I have longed for years for someone to understand me and God has shown me myself with a depth of understanding I truly needed. " Love others as I have loved you" " Love others as yourself". I believe this was a great hinderance in my life... Not understanding the magnificence of God's love bestowed on me... and not understanding my own self and loving who I am... I accepted others frills and failures far easier than my own... yet how could I really love without being loved, knowing love, respecting myself in all areas of my soul as God does, so I could indeed feel the same for others. I am a student in this love affair of God, me and all of the *you*.
I know at the start of this new year what I don't want. I know some of what I do hope for, but I have no idea what will be. The days that have gone "Bye"... I gladly let them go! The wisdom I hold, while sorrows I am attempting to let go. For this past year, though gathering together my soul... has also scattered it before me to be tred upon... and it has not been an easy walk.
I don't know if I even make sense in this jumble of tumbling thought... Truth is... I feel anxious and on the verge of spilling a torent of tears and also a resiliant hope that boggles my mind and often teases me with its perky presence and inability to quit! :) ... happy new year... HAPPY NEW YEAR... sigh!!!
There is going to be some happy, sad, angry, glad, hysterical, miracle, confusion and the ever present calm assurance that follows me everywhere! What will be... will be for nothing can stop what is... But may I choose wisely what I will be, do, act and react... may the calm assurance I have been given birth my spirit from the cocoon it has been protected within and aid me in the mission of my life's purpose and fulfillment.
Tonight... I feel the intensity to weep and sleep for this new year needs a cleansing from the old...
Love and Hope ... these are mine!
Lion~*SteppingUpToTheEntranceOfMySoulSoThePastCanBeLetGoPaw
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1 comment:
Happy New Year my friend,
Yes...2006 was a wild ride, a deepening of understanding of ourselves, and discovery or unearthing of who we really are. So I propose that 2007 is for the polish...Now that we've found our buried self, lets get her back into one happy peaceful piece. Let's put her hair up in silken ribbons and polish her nails the softest of pink. Let's give her time for meditation, and to feel the wind on her face. Let her feel the warmth of the sunshine and the comfort of a heart beating next to hers. Yes my dear...polish.
You sparkle! And you rock!
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