Sometimes I get lost
The past takes up hours of today
Faces that cannot be reached tug at my soul
Not one tear falls
Sometimes I forget to breathe
The past needs no inhale to survive
But my muscle ache must exhale soon
But I wait a moment
Sometimes I want to scream
To holler out my soul's burden
and empty my veins of this poison
stagnating heart seams
Sometimes I long to be known
For just one to sit with me
And bestow compassion
Yet who indeed...
Love Lion~*
Sometimes I need to remember so I can relinquish... how immensely tight my grip is. I have gone numb with the effort. How crazy is that. I could counsel so many with happy results... yet a simple breath and lifting of my will... I have no courage for.
Sometimes it is just a memory... and sometimes it is someone so much more. I found my brothers best friends. One who was there those torturous hours of evil fate. I know now all that happened. Where my sight ended at the dark corner of snowflakes... another gave my mind sight to see and know it all... and I have gone numb. Just as I did many years ago... I am not quite sure what I am supposed to do with it... but I know I have this huge gripping within me... and I am afraid of letting go... yet the wisdom in me knows it is what I need.
Closure... a door is not really closed till you let go of the knob... is it? But it has NOT been the good that has crowded in on me all these years. Not the happy memories some are allowed to keep. Mine is filled with murderous sorrow and it has both made and tainted me. I quit breathing when I lost him. He was my soft place to trust. He protected me. He cared when no one else did. He said "Bye, see you tomorrow!" But when I did see him... he was no longer there.
I thought I had dealt with it all so well. Till coincidence brought a fateful few my way. And now I know things I was never told. And I feel more alone than I did then... for even tears won't befriend me now.
There are people whom one loves immediately and forever. Even to know they are alive in the world is quite enough.
Nancy Spain
And when they are gone... nothing is ever quite enough
2 comments:
Oh ((((Lion)))),
I have no words... But these by John O'Donohue are my earnest prayer for you dearest friend.
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.
When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
With all my love, M
((((Maithri)))) a very beautiful gift ... thank you dear friend.
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